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| Monsoon in Bangkok |
Right after Bob recovered from
pneumonia another family medical emergency cropped up that had me scurrying to Bangkok since Bali wasn't
equipped to deal with the problem. I was in that dynamic city for three weeks
and in daily e-mail or phone connection with my office in Bali.
In the middle of the second week
Bob's caregivers wrote to say he was peeing every hour and stumbling or falling
down. He'd scrapped his head falling off the bed from a seated position. Now
when he sits there they put pillows below him just to be safe.
I felt far away and helpless so
at my suggestion the boys took Bob to test for a urinary tract infection. It
was the only thing I could think of that might be bothering him but he passed
with flying colors - no infection.
When I got back to Bali I went to see him. He was stark naked, as he often
is these days, sitting on the couch engrossed in an Indonesian movie. He was happy to see me and we chatted in his
nonsensical way that I pretend to understand. He seemed peaceful and soft and
he loved it when I stroked his arm and massaged his shoulders.
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| Trekking in Nepal 1988 |
I thought what a
good life he has and then sadness descended, remembering who he was before
Alzheimer's. I tried to brush it away as
we sipped tea and ate chocolate mint cookies, gazing out at the garden. Daisy
dog danced around our chairs.
I thought how we almost lost Bob a month ago. The sadness intensified. I
realized I'm not ready to let him go and that I need to come to peace with his
passing when the time comes. This is,
after all, what he wanted - to not linger long with this disease.
That evening Ketut called to say
he and Bob had just returned from the clinic. Bob had fallen down again and
needed three stitches in his head. I'm at a loss of what to do to keep him safe
now. Mostly a mellow man, Bob's ire
quickly rises if he feels 'minded' or treated like a child. I'm sure the caregivers will come up with a
solution - one I would never think of. They're cleaver men who really care
about my husband. I have so much to be grateful for in this ever changing
landscape of Alz World.
If you have any ideas about how to keep Bob from falling or at least lessening the chances, I would appreciate hearing them.
